29 days

With 29 days left of residency, things are setting in hard and fast that this is all ending and something else is beginning.

After four years of college, four years of medical school, and over three years of residency, it's about time.

Still, I have my days when I feel anxious, and when I question if I am really ready after all.  I hope that feeling is normal.  I understand that I have chosen a career where it is impossible to know everything, but every day I pray that I know enough.  Just enough.  "Dear God, give me this day thy daily memory of that random fact from second year of medical school."

Despite my anxiety, I really am excited.  I'm excited to not have to get up extra early to beat my staff in to do hospital rounds in the morning.  I'm excited to not have to schedule or start a completely new rotation each month.  I'm excited to not have to explain what a "resident" is to patients with that confused look on their face.  I'm excited to not have to staff Medicare patients.  I'm excited to get paid.  I'm excited for Tuesdays off.

Surely the first few days, weeks, and maybe months are going to be a steep learning curve.  There will be days of doubt and days of confidence.  There already are.  But, like a wise little train engine once said:  

I think I can.  I think I can.  I think I can.

Or, as from someone even more wise than that:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.

Phillipians 4:4-9