Photo Friday - Party of Five

Yep.  It's true.  We are excited to be pregnant with Baby #3 - due in May.

In-Service Exam

Today was the dreaded day of the annual in-service training exam.  The dreary, kind of rainy, kind of cold day was a perfect match. This exam is one that all residents have to take every year to prove that they are still learning something.  At least I think that's the point.  We aren't really graded per se, but we are compared to each other and fellow residents across the country.

 

Frankly, I don't find it all that valuable.  No one really studies for it (unless, of course, you consider going to work every day "studying"), and it doesn't really motivate me to learn any more on my monthly rotations.  I'd rather learn things that I'm going to use seeing real patients instead of learning the answer to question #225 of my exam.

 

So I just go, stare at a computer, click for a few hours, then go home and complain about it.  In a few weeks I'll spend about 4 minutes looking at my results, and that will be it.  I won't think about it again.  Probably, never again thankfully.

 

Now, that doesn't mean I'm done taking tests.  No, far from it.  Family Medicine Boards are fast approaching in April, and after today I'm already dreading another long test.  And that one actually means something.

Support Group

Saturday was a great day.  At least it was after 8AM and my pager, for the most part, stopped going off.

 

I'd been looking forward to this afternoon's event for months now.  Seriously, it's been almost a year since I met Michelle at Starbucks, and she said she had been thinking about getting a group of female family practice docs from central Nebraska together.  What a wonderful idea!  You see, I realized quickly how isolating it is to be a rare female primary care physician in a "small" town.  No one else really understands what you really do.

 

How is it different in patient exam rooms when you are genetically wired to be a relationship builder?  What is it like to come home thinking about what's for dinner, is the outfit you want to wear tomorrow clean, is the infant you sent home with a low grade fever actually septic, how is that 15 year old going to tell her step dad she is pregnant, AND what are you taking the party this weekend?  Is it normal to wonder if my male partners respect me and if my "regular" mom friends like me?

 

Needless to say, spending 3 hours with 7 women asking similar questions and wise answers was so therapeutic.

 

We met at a PraireCreek winery just north of Central City.  It was a beautiful spot on a beautiful day with beautiful women.  We ate fancy appetizers, drank yummy drinks (i.e. Diet Coke... wink-wink), and talked, reminisced, listened, encouraged.

 

I only knew two of the women and not very well at that, but unlike so many other female circles, I felt welcomed and like I belonged in this group.  The entire 35 minute drive home I smiled.  I was energized and empowered.

 

Thanks, Michelle for getting us together.  It was great to catch up, Meg, and see your handsome little man.  Ladies, I'm looking forward to our next get together at the Chocolate Bar, or Max Creek, or CoCo Key, or just passing you on the interstate.

 

(P.S.  Jess and Lindsey, if you're reading this, I think you'd love it, too.)

The Wake Up Call

Finally...I am seizing control of Susan's blog for part of one evening (she is sitting next to me, working her on-call night, and doesn't realize I am logged into her account).  

I have a major confession.  Normally, I wouldn't make my confession on a public forum such as this but I thought my confession might help other people.  My confession?  I can be an idiot!  Really profound, right?  Those of you that know me are not surprised, in fact, probably wondering why I had to make such an obvious statement.  All kidding aside, it's true.  For the first 27 years of my life I have been really dumb with some life decisions.  Of course, it's a part of growing and maturing to make mistakes but I was making huge mistakes and not realizing it.  

This past January, Susan and I made a commitment for the sake of our family to become debt free.  Some people think we're weird.  Others feel bad because we "can't enjoy life".  I think a few might even think we are really rich and hoarding money.  I bet one or two people might look at my fly ride (a shiny, red 2001 Mitsubishi Galant) and think we aren't really committed to being debt free.  In reality, only one of those things is true - we are weird.  So here is what I have learned:

Mistake #1

I have come to realize that our culture tells us we deserve things.  "I work hard, so I deserve...(You fill in the blank)" and I bought it - hook, line, and sinker - for years.  We're are told buying stuff we can't afford will fix the economy, that being broke is how Americans should live, credit cards are a fixture of society, and that rich people are evil (although ironically, most people dream of being rich).  It's the new American way, right?  I am pretty sure my great-grandparents and generations before that would drag my butt to the farm by the ear and tell me to get to work because if I want to eat, I need to earn it.  You know, those people during the Great Depression who survived on what they had & were too proud to borrow might have had it right after all.  

Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.  Ouch!  1 Timothy 6:7 - For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.  Double Ouch!  You know, if God has certain expectations for me - I need to meet them.  I haven't been. 

Mistake #2

I cannot count how many times I have heard "some debt is good debt".  FALSE!  No debt is good debt.  Read Proverbs 22:7, or the abbreviated version - "Borrower is Slave to the lender".  We bought a house in 2006 thinking it was a blessing.  Turns out it was a major lesson.  At the time, you could have a pulse and get a house.  In fact, I made $7.25 an hour and Susan made $0 going to med school.  We, like many young were anxious to get the house, dog, and start a family.  All very well intentioned and filled with beautiful memories.  And to be honest, I feel a little regret but we learned so much from it - how to maintain a home, build a deck/fence, liability, lawn care, plumbing, electrical, insulation, tearing down a wall and rebuilding the same wall, etc.  Susan also had over $100,000 in student loan debt and I had nearly $30,000.  Again, being spoon fed racking up debt is just a fact of life we ate it up.  So tell me again, how is it a blessing to have nearly $200,000 in debt making roughly $35,000 per year?  That actually makes me nauseous thinking about it.  

Mistake #3

Thinking managing money properly means you love it more than anything else.  Wow, have I learned a lot about this.  Scripture tells us we can't worship God and money (see Luke 16:3) so I just assumed this meant I can't be wealthy.  Not so.  What honestly motivates us to be debt free is 1) be a good steward of our blessings and be able give like crazy (oh crud!  I forgot wealthy people are evil - no sarcasm) and 2) change our family tree and be able to provide our children the things our parents always wanted and strived to give us.  I have learned you can use money as a tool to serve the Lord, not the other way around.  I can be humble and still put our family in a good situation down the road.

Mistake #4 

Believing the next political candidate is going to fix everything and save us.  HA!  I must really be ignorant.  This one actually hasn't been a big problem for me.  I just think it's important to mention since we are on the topic of money that we spend all of this time breaking down political rhetoric and what the next candidate is going to do for us.  It's laughable, because I can tell you as a history guy, that's been going on for centuries across societies and hasn't really changed much.  What needs to change is our way of thinking, in other words being critical thinkers with real values and principles.  Besides, Jesus bluntly says (John 14:6) "I am the way, the truth, and the life" - He's the one that has saved us, not some career politician, and that's pretty clear regardless of which side of the aisle you fall on.

Mistake #5

It will take a long time to get ahead, maybe I should just live now.  That belief is an old mistake but it forced me to have a personal rule - NO SELF-PITY.  Sure, it has been a process but God created us and tells us to persevere promising we can handle all things thrown our way.  And while it may take time to get ahead, it's worth walking down the path.  

So...if you're still with me, why write this?  Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking since paying off my student loan debts (we still have about $95,000 of Susan's).  Honestly, that was a huge burden for me.  I can't imagine what it's like for my fellow graduates who had more that are still making minimum payments - in fact, mine were supposed to hang around for 15 years if I did minimum payments!  My babies would darn near be driving and I would have still been paying back student loans.  So I have learned some lessons that I felt compelled to share:

Lesson #1

I don't deserve anything I have.  I make a ton of mistakes, have skeletons in the closet, at times try to hide my faults just like anyone else.  I am a sinner saved by the grace of God - everything I have is a true blessing.  And I am not simply talking about material wealth.  Susan and I have been given an incredible family, a great network of friends and the ability to provide for ourselves.  We breathe, walk, eat, sleep, and enjoy everything by the grace of God.  Not because we are owed or feel entitled to anything.  

So, to the whiny student loan protestor group that believes the man has them down & to the college graduates who feel they deserve a job they "deserve" for going to college the message is pretty simple - WORK!  Do things you don't want to do, network, serve others, intern, and battle to make it.  Don't blame society, the economy, the wealthy and others for your problems.  When I left college, I knew it would be a dog fight to be employed as a teacher - the field that allegedly had a huge shortage in 2007 when I left school.  I was turned down for nearly a dozen open jobs before landing one.  I learned from my mistakes and got better and was blessed with a position.  I was not guaranteed nor expected to be guaranteed anything.  

Lesson #2

Don't incur new debt.  Even if we do buy a house we cannot have the mentality it's a "good debt".  This has been tough - the decision to buy a house and "settle" in GI is back on.  Debt is debt - regardless of what it is.  Sure, a house can be an investment but it can be a curse too.  Whatever happens, we are going to fight like crazy to get rid of anything we currently owe.  One thing I would do again though is to work my tail off during all of college rather than "take it easy" because I "deserved" it my first two years of school.  I seriously could have paid for nearly all of my education if I worked and sacrificed some lifestyle.  Sure, I would have scraped by working and paying for tuition but I remember buying plenty of pizzas in college with my student loan checks and I probably would have worked a little harder to get to those 8 AM classes :)  

Lesson #3

I love my friends/family like crazy.  I love my boys and wife just ever so slightly more and I love God above all.  I want to be able to serve them like I was called to.  Managing my money poorly and excusing it by saying I am trying not to "honor" it was not serving them.  Being a good manager of what I have and looking toward providing/serving them for the future is more important than serving myself now.  I think our commitment to the goal is not to be rich or make our kids rich but rather to teach them how to honor the blessings of God and how to do it the right way.

Lesson #4

Politics are politics.  Jesus saves and it's really that simple.  Getting worked up over many things we deem are "important" can be a waste.  On the other hand, there are certain principles that you must stand up for when it comes to politics and I get that because we don't want just anybody in control.  However, believing that one man or woman is going to fix our lives, or the economy because they promise to do so (with your vote, of course) is absurd.  

One reason I always respected Theodore Roosevelt has little to do with politics.  He was a man born into everything who literally could have lived off the family fortune and coasted in life.  He decided to maximize his blessings.  He urged people to live a strenuous life.  He became a self made expert on the navy, lived as a cowboy in the Dakotas, led the "rough riders", explored, loved nature, and a father.  He wasn't perfect but he wouldn't have accepted the "entitlement culture" of today - the generation of people that believe they deserve...

Lesson #5

I don't talk about doing odd jobs to pay off our debt because I need reassurance, sympathy, admiration, support, or anything else.  I am simply making the point that it takes hard work.  Many of us were born into problems, bad home lives, less than perfect situations, poverty, etc. and any other excuses we can come up with.  My family loved and cared for me very much and always wanted the best.  I knew we weren't  rich and that someday I was going to have to work.  

If somebody wants to argue about how I am a middle class, privileged white man and how I have all these opportunities that others don't have (like access to college or healthcare) let's sit down and talk about nights we didn't have heat growing up, took baths by heating pots of water on the stove, ate rice-a-roni for dinner, or worried if our dad was going to make it home from who knows where.  If someone thinks we can only be debt free because my wife is a "loaded" doctor, let's talk about the sacrifice of 30+ hour shifts without sleep, studying for hours on end after taking classes, or the hours in the middle of the night of taking phone calls from sick patients.  If we really want to fix our problems, it's time to stop making excuses and blaming other people put our big boy (or girl) pants on and do it.

It takes work, dedication and drive to not settle for what society tells us we have to be.  So, here is to kicking Nelnet/Bank of America to the curb.  So long!  See ya!  Farewell!  You can take a stinkin' hike and don't let the door hit you in the you know what.  And hey...tell your friend U.S. Department of Education that they are next, I am coming for them - no excuses!  It's time to go set my alarm for tomorrow's wake up call.

New Month = New Rotation = New West

After last month's joke of a rotation, October means getting back to business.

 

September's rotation was called "Practice Management" and was filled with semi-useful lectures on the business of medicine.  How to find a job.  How to negotiate contracts.  How to start your own practice.  How to deal with insurance companies.  How to stay confused on health policy.  Each lecture was semi-helpful (less helpful since I've already signed a contract), but the month as a whole was almost so relaxed it was boring.  As much as I love getting home at noon or 3:30 on the "long" lecture days, I was starting to get antsy to get back to "real" work.  You know it's bad when I was excited to go in at 3AM this weekend for a pregnant patient of mine.

 

That change of pace was nice for a little while, but I'm excited that now it's October.  I woke up to rain this morning so you know it's going to be a good month.  This rotation is "Sports Medicine," and I'm going to be spending it in Kearney Nebraska with the Orthopedic group there at New West Sports Medicine.  It's the middle of football season so hopefully there will be a good crop of injured athletes.  Former residents have had a lot of good things to say about the staff there, so I'm really anticipating a great month.

 

Now, it is in Kearney, which means a little longer commute than I'm used to.  Mapquest said it will take 1hr and 1min. - if I obey the speed limit, which, of course, I will.  That's a lot of windshield time.  I'm looking for a few good audio books to help pass the time instead of leaving me to my crazy thoughts.  I'm open to book suggestions, and I'll keep you posted on all of the torn ACLs and concussions.