Queasy

A healthy young guy came in to clinic to have a few small skin lesions treated.  He works in agriculture and as expected was about a foot taller than me and weighed probably twice as much as a non-pregnant me, too.  He was pleasant, and we chatted about the weather as I prepared the few things I needed.

 

Lidocaine.  Betadine.  Gloves.  Blade.  Silver nitrate.  Antibiotic ointment.  Bandaid.

 

After I cleaned his skin I grabbed the syringe (and attached "tiny" needle) with the numbing lidocaine, and I proceeded to nonchalantly poke him and then watch the skin rise and bulge as the medication infiltrated the tissue below.  "Stick and a burn."  He got a little more quiet, and as I looked up into his already pale and freckled face I noticed he was growing more and more pale.

 

Ooops.  I didn't even think to ask this 6-foot-something 200-something pound guy if he wanted to lay down or got queezy with needles.  Thankfully, I didn't have to catch him this time.  We successfully got him up to the table and laying down for the rest of the procedure (which took about 30 seconds), and he did fine.

 

Later he told me he didn't like needles.  Shocker.  He thought he'd do okay this time because he hasn't had a problem since his seventh grade shots.  I smiled and was just grateful to not be picking him up off the clinic floor.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

This spring has been depressing to say the least.  I am lucky to not be one who struggles with true major depression, but the unending days of cold have been wearing on me.  As I scraped the ice off my car last week I really felt it.  It was frustrating that the flowers that had started to bloom were now drooping and brown.  I felt bad for the two ducks in our front yard that were taking cover against the house during the ice storm.  It has been aggravating to not be able to take the boys for a walk to the park in mid-April or be able to get ice-cream on our trip to the zoo.  And I'm tired of wearing a winter coat and putting hats and gloves on the boys in the morning.

Am I the only one?

Today, our small group Bible study decided we didn't care.  We (and our kids) needed to get out for an afternoon at the park.  The forcast high for our day was in the 60's, but when it was still 47 degrees and windy at 10:45 this morning I feared this Spring's curse wasn't going to be lifted.  As I was preparing my complaints to God about how much I hated the weather the sun began to shine.

And we had a great afternoon (minus Griffin falling off of the play ground)!  My melancholy mood melted in the sun, and the smell of rain, grilling burgers, and freshly mowed grass made it even better.  Ahh.  Finally.

I really needed this day.

Top 10 Reasons You Know You are at the End of Your Pregnancy

10.  When you go to take your Family Medicine Licensing Board Exam and the lady checking you in gets that sad, sympathetic/pathetic look on her face and says, "You know what, we're going to let you have the 'Special Accommodations Room.'  You'll be the only one in there, you'll have a fan if you get warm, you can get up and go the bathroom whenever you need, and we can switch chairs if you get uncomfortable.  You just let us know."  (And then an hour later a guy in wheelchair shows up and has to go into the standard testing room.  Sorry.)

9.  It's not uncommon to have vivid dreams when you're pregnant, but you know it's bad when you dream clearly about huge varicose veins and leg swelling the size of elephants'.

8.  Eye-belly contact.  This is probably more awkward than eye-chest or eye-hair contact.

7.  Sympathetic "You look miserable" comments.  Yes, I am; but I'd still prefer "You look cute" or "beautiful" or "great" even if it is a lie.

6.  You want to eat and don't want to eat at the same time.

5.  Online baby shopping at 4AM.  There comes a time when you realize everything you haven't done or purchased to get ready for this baby.  Thankfully, this intersects with the time when you can't sleep and are up for hours in the middle of the night.

4.  You can't sleep on your stomach, back, or either side.  And, it takes monumental effort, 10 minutes, and 6 pillows to even roll over to try different sleeping positions which inevitably won't be comfortable.

3.  You stop wearing make-up because nothing can hide how unattractive you feel so why even try.

2.  You literally can't wait the 3 weeks for the car seat you love that is on back order.  (Hence, #5 above.)

1.  Your scheduled C/S day that is circled, bold, capitalized and followed by several exclamation points on the GMail calendar is now just one click away.  25 days!

Catch Up

So I went an entire month without writing.  Big deal.  I guess I've been busy... or lazy.  And with as much "stuff" coming up in the next several weeks, I can't promise it is going to get any better.

 

In one month-ish we are going to have another baby.  It's a shock to me, too.  Even though we've had 8 months to prepare, we are definitely NOT prepared.  No name.  No bed.  No nursery.  No carseat.  Clothes are still in boxes downstairs.  At least we did buy diapers on our once-a-month April shopping trip in case he comes before May.  The Type A planner in me is kind of freaking out.

 

Then again, this is our third boy.  What could we possibly "need" that we don't already have.  The budget-conscious-scraping-to-get-out-of-debt person in me is at war with the planner-perfectionist in me.  For example, do I buy a brand new breast pump because I can, or do I find a gently used one on CraigsList because I should, or do I go uber-frugal and try to salvage the one I have (which I bought on CraigsList 4 years ago, by the way)?

 

While baby shopping sounds like fun, even taking 10 minutes to browse Amazon makes me feel guilty.  You see, I should be studying for another little test coming up.  My family practice board exam is NEXT WEEK.  Yeah, like 7 (wow, actually 6) days away.  It's only a test to say that I'm qualified to practice family medicine; no big deal.  After taking: MCAT, Step 1, Step 2 CK, Step 2 CS, and Step 3 to become an "M.D." you would think one more test to become "Board Certified" wouldn't be necessary.  Haha.  How embarrassing would it be to get this far, just months away from being "done," and then fail?!  I should probably study, huh.

 

If that wasn't enough, I have a senior research project and presentation due 3 days after my board exam.  It's the thing I'm the least worried about, and that usually means it's the thing that is going to go the worst.

 

Oh, yeah.  And... I, Jason, and Owen have all been sick this past week.  Why not pile on vomiting, diarrhea, fevers, sinus pressure, and sore throat when I already don't sleep and ache all over?  Needless to say, it has been, and is going to be, a long few weeks.  I can't wait for maternity "vacation."