10. When you go to take your Family Medicine Licensing Board Exam and the lady checking you in gets that sad, sympathetic/pathetic look on her face and says, "You know what, we're going to let you have the 'Special Accommodations Room.' You'll be the only one in there, you'll have a fan if you get warm, you can get up and go the bathroom whenever you need, and we can switch chairs if you get uncomfortable. You just let us know." (And then an hour later a guy in wheelchair shows up and has to go into the standard testing room. Sorry.)
9. It's not uncommon to have vivid dreams when you're pregnant, but you know it's bad when you dream clearly about huge varicose veins and leg swelling the size of elephants'.
8. Eye-belly contact. This is probably more awkward than eye-chest or eye-hair contact.
7. Sympathetic "You look miserable" comments. Yes, I am; but I'd still prefer "You look cute" or "beautiful" or "great" even if it is a lie.
6. You want to eat and don't want to eat at the same time.
5. Online baby shopping at 4AM. There comes a time when you realize everything you haven't done or purchased to get ready for this baby. Thankfully, this intersects with the time when you can't sleep and are up for hours in the middle of the night.
4. You can't sleep on your stomach, back, or either side. And, it takes monumental effort, 10 minutes, and 6 pillows to even roll over to try different sleeping positions which inevitably won't be comfortable.
3. You stop wearing make-up because nothing can hide how unattractive you feel so why even try.
2. You literally can't wait the 3 weeks for the car seat you love that is on back order. (Hence, #5 above.)
1. Your scheduled C/S day that is circled, bold, capitalized and followed by several exclamation points on the GMail calendar is now just one click away. 25 days!
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