Photo Friday: 1 - 2 - 3

My indecisive, scatter-brained self couldn't pick just one image for this photo Friday, so you're going to get three.  Actually, my intention was to have some cute picture of us with giant corndogs and fried girl scout cookies, but another round of viruses kept us home both nights we had hoped to go to the State Fair.  Maybe we'll make it there this weekend.  Besides, I don't think you'll be disappointed with what I came up with instead.

1:  STEPS

"Don't compare one child to the next, they are all different."  Blah, blah, blah.  Owen was walking at 10 months, so, yes, I was disappointed when Griffin still had calloused knees on his first birthday.  Don't be silly, I know he is totally AWESOME, but I'm still a mom who doesn't what my baby to be the "well-some-babies-just-don't ...." baby.  I want him to be the "wow!-that's-exceptional" baby.  The one who checks all the boxes and more on the developmental milestone chart at his well baby checks.  You know, the one who graduates college at age 12, and is president by 18.  That one.  Still no amount of maternal desire could get his little legs to walk.  Well, finally, those two short, pudgy, little things figured out how to balance his big round tummy, and decided it isn't so bad after all.  While he still prefers to crawl or use his push toy, he can definitely walk now.  Yipee.  With gross motor skills improving, next we're working on language.

2: PINK SUCKER

I've never been more glad to give my baseball-loving, all-boy, first-born son a girly pink sucker.  For whatever reason, he decided long ago (like 3 weeks ago) that a pink sucker was exactly what he wanted when he went potty in the potty.  Not just any sucker would do.  It had to be a p-i-n-k one.  Who knows?  He would ask repeatedly for one as we sat and waited, and he would cry devastated when he got up from what felt like hours pant-less on the potty without results. Well... that is him holding the reward for his big achievement yesterday!

3: SIGNED

For those of you who've listened to me waiver and debate, or those of you who've read between the lines of my many self-doubts, today's the day for which you've been waiting.  It's official.  I signed.  It's done.  We're staying.  I'm content.  I even think I'm actually excited.

Yo Yo

Red.  Shiny.  Round.  It's a yo-yo.  It goes up and down, and back and forth.  Unless, that is, it's on my finger, because in that case it just goes down and stays down.

Lately (or maybe longer than that), it seems like there is a string wrapped around my waist and I'm spinning up and down and back and forth.  

Good days.  Bad days.  

Confident.  Insecure.  

Happy.  Grumpy.  

Sure.  Unsure.

Stay.  Go.  

Healthy.  Lazy.

Planned.  Disorganized.

Submissive.  Independent.

Early bird.  Night owl.

Trustworthy.  Gossip.

Strict.  Care-free.

Rent.  Buy.

Clean.  Sloppy.

Gracious.  Selfish.

Polished.  Disheveled.  

Housewife.  Career woman.

It's like a rapid-cycling bipolar patient.  Maybe, ADHD.  Sometimes I drive myself crazy.  It's exhausting.  One of these days it'd be nice to hang out on the "up" for a little while longer.

Rest assured, I know who is ultimately the one holding the string, and thankfully, it's not me!

(And, no, it's not Yo-Yo Ma either, but when I googled "yo yo" his picture came up, and it made me smile.  What a name: Yo-Yo Ma!  Even if he is Chinese, I can't imagine there are a lot of other "Yo Yo's" out there.  Well, except me figuratively speaking.  I guess you could call me Yo-Yo Mae.)

Improv

There is a reason it is called the "art of medicine."  Often, doctors have to use what they know and what they have to solve a problem.  Well, tonight was the "art of parenting."  We had a few problems this evening that required a little creativity.

One of my weaknesses is shoe shopping, so when mom asked if I wanted to go this evening of course I said I would.  Yes, I knew it would be late, and, yes, I knew that Griffin would be exhausted.  Still, I couldn't resist.  Within 10 minutes it was clear that there wasn't going to be any shoe shopping for me.  Instead, I was chasing a crazy maniac around the store as he crawled into empty shelves and ran his sticky fingers across every mirror.  (Why didn't I realize before that shoe-level mirrors would also be Griffin-level mirrors?)  That store was a failure, but we don't give up on shopping that easily.  In the next store we left him strapped in his almost-too-small-for-his-chunky-thighs car seat.  He could do less harm tied down, and maybe even would fall asleep.  Unfortunately, there is a recipe for him to fall asleep and it involves a thumb and a blanket. 

Thankfully, he has a thumb and even a spare, but without the diaper bag I didn't have the blanket.  Crap!  First, we thought we could find one in the store and then "decide we didn't want to buy it after all" as we checked out, but that just seemed wrong.  Then we figured we could let him hold whatever clothes we chose to buy, but that would take some time.  Finally, Mom dug around in her purse and pulled out an inside-out, grey and white athletic sock.  I think it was clean.  I think.  (And don't ask me why she carries a sock in her purse.)  Regardless, sure enough he clutched it right up to his face and popped his thumb in his mouth.  Satisfied with that, we had a good 30 minutes.

*     *     *

Now, if you are easily offended by "personal hygiene" you may want to be done reading here.  But anyone who has been through potty-training a toddler is likely no stranger to creativity and improvisation.  What bribe can you use?  How many stops should you plan for your car trip?  When is it too young to pee behind a tree?  Etc...  Well, tonight, we found ourselves in a little potty-training predicament.

As much as I wish I could say Owen was there, he just isn't ready.  He must have been given stock in Luvs for his birthday, because we are not ready for the transition to big boy pants yet.  Still, we constantly talk about it, ask about it, and reward for it.  So, tonight when I found him squatting, I swept him (and Chuck the Truck) off the floor and ran to the potty stripping off his diaper and praising him all of the way.  Somehow, someway there was something in the potty when we got done.  Yippee!!  To savor this special moment we pulled up his pants and ran to get a prize.

Of course his timing was impeccable because we were actually trying to head out the door for dinner.  (If you're keeping us accountable, we planned on, and budgeted for, eating out tonight.)  With prize in hand we headed out the door still singing his praises.  He walked into Runza carrying his big red sucker with a big red smile on his face.  I reached down to straighten my big boy's pants when it hit me.  We skipped a step after the potty.  A very important step.  No diaper.  No underwear.  No diaper bag.  Nothing!  Size 2T gym shorts were all that covered his little not-so-potty-trained buns.  Gulp.

Should we go home, be even more late, and disappoint our proud little boy anxious for his "hamlinger"?  Should we let him stay commando and just pray that there isn't a puddle on Runza's floor when we're done - "Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, and please..."?  Or, should I concoct some diaper out of public restroom toilet paper and paper towels?  Well, call me MacGyver, because Owen and I headed into the women's restroom as Jason ordered for us.

Using an emergency supply of something "extra absorbent" from my purse **wink, wink** we created the worst diaper there ever was.  Owen walked out bow-legged, grabbing at his pants, and questioning "Diaper?"  Still, we made it through dinner without a puddle and with a pretty funny story to tell his future girlfriends.

Never a dull moment.  These boys are keeping me on my toes.

$97206.78

The goal was to have my student loan debt under $100,000 by the end of the summer.  Ultimately, the big goal is to have it at $0 by the time we turn 30. 

We sat down for our August budget meeting at the beginning of the month just like we do every month.  After we battled out what we wanted to spend our money on in the weeks ahead, we sent out the big checks.  Thank goodness for electronic banking.

The bank account got smaller and smaller as each check cleared.  Today, I called the student loan center and dialed "1" for account balance.  An automated voice replied, "Ninety-seven thousand, two hundred six dollars and seventy-eight cents."  If your math skills have waned over the summer that is, in fact, less than $100,000.  Woohoo!  Goal achieved.

(I have to be honest that we still have $5000 left on Jason's loans, but he qualifies for a grant that should cover that.  We are just waiting for the 6 weeks of paperwork to process.  On a side note, why, in this day an age, does it take 6 weeks to process paperwork?  It has never taken them 6 weeks to process our check when we send that.  Anyway...)

Hopefully, you realize that, probably just like you, we don't just have money laying around.  I may be a doctor, but I'm still a resident who's married to a teacher.  There's no BMW in our garage.  It has taken some sacrifice to get us this far.  We didn't go on the cruise we had planned this summer, and just this month we depleted our "new car" fund.  If you see us riding our bikes to work, now you'll know why.

Still, in 20 months (or less) it will be worth it.  I'll keep you posted.

Tantrum

Maybe this will help me normalize my child's behavior, or maybe it will help me to seek help before I have a 4 year old serial killer on my hands in a few years.  You decide.  Needless to say, it was a rough evening.  No child psychology course or lecture on how to counsel parents could prepare me for this night.

The afternoon actually started out well as I got off early and headed to get the boys from daycare.  However, as we hit our driveway the proverbial "stuff" hit the fan.  (And believe me, after tonight, it is almost worth using the other word for "stuff.")  I couldn't even get him out of the car in one trip.  I had to take Griffin and our bags into the house before returning to the screaming terrible-two screaming and climbing around in the car.  Who knows what that lady and her dog thought as they walked by.

Unfortunately, it didn't end in the driveway.  I dragged him into the front door still screaming, but now he had a sweat soaked head and bright red, emotional cheeks.  His feet started kicking as soon as he spied his little brother in the entry way.  As much as I wish it was, it was not just a coincidence that Griffin caught that sandal in the leg.  Mothers know which "accidents" are actually accidents, and that was no accident.  My anger started to boil to an embarrassing level as Owen screamed in frustration and Griffin screamed in pain.  In the ten steps it took to get Owen to his room the hits and kicks pushed me over the edge.  I wish I could say that I calmly picked him up and placed him gently in his room, but the truth is that he landed on his bed with a thud and the door slammed shut behind me.  Not a proud moment.  At least then I could take a breath and gather myself.

Still, it wasn't the end of this Olympic length temper tantrum.  I removed the wiffle ball bat from his room after it was swung against the back of the door a few times.  I didn't cave when he repeatedly slapped his leg and cried out a dramatic "ouchy!"  I held the door handle closed after he broke the child-proof handle on his side of the door.  (Yes, we used to, and if possible still would, lock him in his room to calm down.)  I listened from the hall as he spat on the floor, and I HATE spitting.

Finally, there was a moment of quiet from his room.  I opened the door.  The ornery look was still on his face, but we tried to head for the time out chair anyway.  (That little red chair in the living room is not a place to throw fits with so many distractions; therefore, our strategy for the all-out two year-old fit is to cool down in his bedroom before going to the chair for time out.)  Well, we didn't even make it out of his room before he lost it.  Again.  I shut him in his room.  Again.  And we repeated that cycle.  Again.  And again.  At least by this point, I was in control, and I knew I could wait him out.

We pulled into the driveway at 4:00.  We finally made it to the time out chair at 5:00.  Then he sat with "mouth quiet, hands quiet, and feet quiet" for two full minutes.  One full hour of tantrum.  I won.

Quarantine

According to the textbooks, summer is supposed to have a low rate of infectious disease.  Our house has bucked that tradition.  Since mid-July it has been one mattered eye after another.

We've had fevers, pink eye, vomiting, coughs, sinus infection, rashes, and diarrhea.  The boys have been home sick from daycare more days than they've actually been there.  Good for our budget.  Bad for our sanity.

It's kind of funny being a doctor and being sick or having sick kids.  People (i.e. Jason) seem to think that I can wave my magic wand and make it all better.  Surely there is a pill to take.  Believe it or not, I treat my kids the same way I would treat yours if they came in, and I even take my own advice once in a while.  We've been pushing fluids and Pedialyte, taking Tylenol for fevers, and none of us have been on antibiotics because it's all viral.  The prescription is for time, and unfortunately, it's taken a lot of it.

Thankfully, I was smart enough to marry a teacher, because he's spent much of his summer break on nursing duty.  Unfortunately, now it's August, and he went back to work this week.  Hopefully the collective Newman immune system has toughened up, and we can start feeling well again.  Even though Owen's eye was mattered again this morning, I'm still hopeful.

Meals for a Month

You know how annoying it is when you go to the grocery store just to get the egg that you need to finish the brownies that are currently sitting unfinished in the bowl on your kitchen counter then you go to check out and standing in the only lane that is open has a lady with a cart piled high - and I mean HIGH?  Groan!  Well, I must confess that once a month I am that annoying lady.

For the last few months, our family has been trying to stay organized, eat out less, and spend less money.  For us, we have found that means planning our meals for the month - yes, the entire 30 days.

And yes, it is difficult.  Some important lessons have been learned.  First, plan on two carts (i.e. two people) or wait for another day to buy the big box of diapers or take two trips out to the car.  Second, don't plan a meal for every single day.  There will inevitably be a day where left overs sound better than cooking or when drive-through is okay or when your mom invites you over for a grand kid fix.  For us that means four or five evening meals per week.  Finally, get to know your grocery store.  It sucks when you have to push around a heavy cart full of frozen stuff all over the store to find raisins.

As difficult as it is, the benefits are still greater (at least for us).  Not only does it actually help us stay organized, eat out less, and save money; there have been some unexpected benefits, too.  For example, I have been trying more new recipes.  Yummy ones, too.  It also has been good at keeping our fridge clean.  By the end of the month there isn't much left so it's easy to throw away whatever is left and make room for the big grocery load that is coming.  Lastly, and more importantly, it makes us talk about, and plan for, what is coming up for the month - who has a birthday, where we are headed for the weekends, which nights I'm on call, etc...  We have avoided a few "I-didn't-know-about-that" fights in our house.

Now, you may be curious.  So I thought I'd let you see what's coming up this month on our menu:

• BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, and cole slaw
• Tomato, basil pasta and french bread (with tomato and basil from our garden!)
• Breakfast pizza with peaches
• Orange pork stir fry
• BLTs with chips and left-over cole slaw
• Fish tacos with mango salsa and chips
• Shrimp spring rolls
• Chicken pesto pasta with sun-dried tomatoes and french bread (Everything, including the chicken, is in a can and it still sounds fancy.)
• Hamburgers with baked beans and sweet potato fries
• Quesadillas with chips & salsa
• Philly cheese steaks with corn and waffle fries
• Spinach & steak salad
• Grilled ham and cheese with sweet potato fries
• Tortellini with french bread
• Vegetable stir fry
• Sloppy joes with waffle fries and green beans
• Ravioli with salad
• PB&J with chips (Yes, peanut butter and jelly!)

And the grand total for this grocery trip (which also included soap, light bulbs, vitamins, etc...) was: $240-ish.  That's it.  I'd post my grocery list and store receipt except that seems like a little too much.  Sure we'll have to go back for milk, diapers, a few produce things later in the month, and I'm sure there's something I forgot; but those trips will be few and far between and short enough to haul in two little boys without much hassle.  So, for now, I apologize to the people behind me in line, but it's working.