There is a reason it is called the "art of medicine." Often, doctors have to use what they know and what they have to solve a problem. Well, tonight was the "art of parenting." We had a few problems this evening that required a little creativity.
One of my weaknesses is shoe shopping, so when mom asked if I wanted to go this evening of course I said I would. Yes, I knew it would be late, and, yes, I knew that Griffin would be exhausted. Still, I couldn't resist. Within 10 minutes it was clear that there wasn't going to be any shoe shopping for me. Instead, I was chasing a crazy maniac around the store as he crawled into empty shelves and ran his sticky fingers across every mirror. (Why didn't I realize before that shoe-level mirrors would also be Griffin-level mirrors?) That store was a failure, but we don't give up on shopping that easily. In the next store we left him strapped in his almost-too-small-for-his-chunky-thighs car seat. He could do less harm tied down, and maybe even would fall asleep. Unfortunately, there is a recipe for him to fall asleep and it involves a thumb and a blanket.
Thankfully, he has a thumb and even a spare, but without the diaper bag I didn't have the blanket. Crap! First, we thought we could find one in the store and then "decide we didn't want to buy it after all" as we checked out, but that just seemed wrong. Then we figured we could let him hold whatever clothes we chose to buy, but that would take some time. Finally, Mom dug around in her purse and pulled out an inside-out, grey and white athletic sock. I think it was clean. I think. (And don't ask me why she carries a sock in her purse.) Regardless, sure enough he clutched it right up to his face and popped his thumb in his mouth. Satisfied with that, we had a good 30 minutes.
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Now, if you are easily offended by "personal hygiene" you may want to be done reading here. But anyone who has been through potty-training a toddler is likely no stranger to creativity and improvisation. What bribe can you use? How many stops should you plan for your car trip? When is it too young to pee behind a tree? Etc... Well, tonight, we found ourselves in a little potty-training predicament.
As much as I wish I could say Owen was there, he just isn't ready. He must have been given stock in Luvs for his birthday, because we are not ready for the transition to big boy pants yet. Still, we constantly talk about it, ask about it, and reward for it. So, tonight when I found him squatting, I swept him (and Chuck the Truck) off the floor and ran to the potty stripping off his diaper and praising him all of the way. Somehow, someway there was something in the potty when we got done. Yippee!! To savor this special moment we pulled up his pants and ran to get a prize.
Of course his timing was impeccable because we were actually trying to head out the door for dinner. (If you're keeping us accountable, we planned on, and budgeted for, eating out tonight.) With prize in hand we headed out the door still singing his praises. He walked into Runza carrying his big red sucker with a big red smile on his face. I reached down to straighten my big boy's pants when it hit me. We skipped a step after the potty. A very important step. No diaper. No underwear. No diaper bag. Nothing! Size 2T gym shorts were all that covered his little not-so-potty-trained buns. Gulp.
Should we go home, be even more late, and disappoint our proud little boy anxious for his "hamlinger"? Should we let him stay commando and just pray that there isn't a puddle on Runza's floor when we're done - "Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, and please..."? Or, should I concoct some diaper out of public restroom toilet paper and paper towels? Well, call me MacGyver, because Owen and I headed into the women's restroom as Jason ordered for us.
Using an emergency supply of something "extra absorbent" from my purse **wink, wink** we created the worst diaper there ever was. Owen walked out bow-legged, grabbing at his pants, and questioning "Diaper?" Still, we made it through dinner without a puddle and with a pretty funny story to tell his future girlfriends.
Never a dull moment. These boys are keeping me on my toes.
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