I've learned that Every Day I impact the lives of my patients.
(I promise, the lessons aren't all going to be so cheesy, vague, and sentimental.)
My work day is made up of mostly 10 minute appointments with a 20 minute one squeezed in here and there for a mole removal or new patient. Even in the hospital when I round typically it's about 10 minutes of face-to-face time. 10 minutes is not very long. It's a jam-packed 600 seconds!
Over the last several years, my brain has been programmed to take in a lot of quick data to put the puzzle together. Every little bit of information gets stirred into the pot: why they called for an appointment (e.g. "personal issue" and "STD check" may result in the same evaluation but require a completely different approach), how often they are in (e.g. a cough is probably something different from someone I see once a week than from someone I see once a decade), who else is in the room, the look my nurse gives me after they get checked in, how comfortable they look in the chair when I walk in, etc... and that's just the first 5 seconds. There's 595 to go.
You probably had no idea you were under such scrutiny when you go see the doctor.
The reason is that I've learned that this appointment is often what the patient has been planning for, pondering, worried about, hanging their hope on, or dreading for quite some time. It's not just any 10 minutes to them.
Clearly, they're analyzing me, too. How confident did I sound when I said it's just a virus? Did I consider their fear that it could be cancer even though I didn't make eye contact at precisely that moment? If I don't say something about that 'thing' they are too embarrassed to bring up on their own, does that mean it's nothing to worry about? Do I look like I don't smoke, exercise, eat well, get shots, sleep enough, and wash my hands like I'm asking them to do? Was I rushed, or did I sit down? (FYI: Did you know that studies show that if a doctor sits down when they see a patient in the hospital people feel like they spent more time with them than they actually did?)
You see, I'm being scrutinized every second, too. Probably, I should be.
They will leave the office and, for the next several days, tell their spouse, their friends, their boss, their personal journal, and their Bible study their interpretation of everything I've told them and then some. They may remember my face and my work for years. Scary. Humbling.
I'm in a unique position of power and influence when people feel vulnerable and powerless, and I know it. Making the correct diagnosis and prescribing medicine is only part of what I've spent the past 7 years learning how to do in that little, huge 10 minute visit.
* * *
I've learned that Every Day I impact the lives of my children.
I usually only spend about 10 minutes a day with a patient. Sometimes, it's 10 minutes a year. But, I spend hours a day and days a month with my kids. Being aware of how I interact in those brief moments with my patients has made me, also, more aware of how I interact with my boys.
What is the tone in my voice when I tell them something is dangerous? Were my eyes on the t.v. or the computer when they said "Mommy, Watch this!"? Do I eat my vegetables, drink water instead of juice, and wear clean underwear?
The other day we were painting the living room. I'm, obviously, not very tall, so to get to the point where the wall meets the ceiling I needed a little help. Out of convenience, I slid a dining room chair across the room, stood on it, and began to paint. Griffin strolled around the corner and in a firm, 2-year old voice commanded, "Sit dow, Mommy!" just as I have repeatedly said to him. His little chubby face scrunched into a big, angry frown, and a sticky finger pointed right at me. Convicted, I apologized, obeyed, and went to get the step ladder. Still, an hour or so later, there was Griffin pushing a chair across the floor to the wall inches from where it had just been.
They are scrutinizing me, too. I just can't get away from it!
Obviously, I'm not perfect, and I've made some not so great impacts on patients and on my kids, too. I realize that's life, and I need to learn from it, apologize, and then move on.
To be complete, learning to be intentional and purposeful is not limited to doctors or mothers either.
Surely, we can all think of a store clerk, waitress, fellow driver, coach, teacher, friend, or ourselves who made a lasting impact in a matter of minutes or over a lifetime. We've all been there, and will all be there again. Scary. Humbling. Huh?
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